Tag Archives: friends

Sometimes the Touch of a Friend is Enough

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Every once in a while you are privy to something so tender between two friends that you can’t help but watch.  It’s so lovely that you have to smile.  Inevitably it’s between two people who have been friends for many many years and moved beyond the “life gets in the way” stage.  They leave themselves open to animated conversation and gentle touches of reassurance and openness and honesty without ever deflecting any feelings.  Hard to believe you can gather this from a brief few minutes in time but when genuine love passes between friends it is just so palpable.  You can almost smell the sweetness or the saltiness or the feistiness or the sincerity in the air around them.

One of my oldest friends, my summer sister Kyle, and I managed to steal a catch up weekend away in a little town named Skaneateles in the finger lakes of New York State.  I’m sure people have been in on some of those same conversations we’ve had ourselves over the years but this time the tables were turned. In a local bakery we watched two friends chat for a few moments and were captivated by the exchange.

I was lucky enough to have my camera on the table and managed to click a few shots of that conversation right from the table. I never lifted the camera to my eye.   As abstract as the shots are you can still get the feeling passing between the two friends.

One looking up at the other,

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the other leaning on the table. For what, support, emphasis, to hear better.  Could have been any one of those reasons.

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And then a hand on the others shoulder. As Jackson Browne said, sometimes the touch of a friend is enough.

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He went on to say, “Hold a place for the human race, keep it open wide.”  There are times when bearing witness to another’s gift of friendship renews your faith in the human race and increases your awareness of the gifts you have in your own life.  It was a fitting and wonderful few moments to have shared with those two friends without them even knowing but it was all the more meaningful in the glance we exchanged after the one left.  We know like we know how precious our gift is.

 

No Explanation Required

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“It’s not about having things figured out, or about communicating with other people, trying to make them understand what you understand. It’s about a chicken dinner at a drive-in. A soft pillow. Things that don’t need explaining.”  Anne Beattie

Some of the things that don’t need explaining from this end-of-summer trip to the Cape are the smell of salt air and cedar, and being welcomed home.  Unpacking the car in record time because I learned long ago that I don’t need to bring nearly as much as I think I do.

Dr. Sunwolf said, “People overestimate the pleasure they’ll get from having more stuff.  This does not apply to new rose bushes, crayons, or yarn stashes.”  For me it doesn’t apply to espresso, comfortable shoes and my camera.   It doesn’t apply to a steno pad for notes or my laptop to create from those notes.

The best things in life are not things.  More things that require no explanation are visits from friends, spending time catching up and dining out.  Becoming an important destination for their much needed quick adventure is an honor and a joy.

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Morning walks to the beach with friends, or without them, but never without dogs.  If you can’t experience joy yourself I defy you to not see it in a couple of condo dogs playing in a back yard.  Running and rolling in the grass should be part of every vacation.

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Who can explain why one would wake early while on vacation?  Sleep in?  Not when the Cape is having the best weather of the year, not when you can have the beach to yourself with a screaming hot latte and the September sun and certainly not when your books are begging to be read.

The best things in life are free; Acting as personal paparazzi to your favorite people.  Meeting new people, enjoying music, and trying new foods all fall into the free or nearly free category.

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Being welcomed home to the Cape brings with it the ritual of making dinner for dear friends and sharing lively conversation for hours.  Nothing brings me more joy than cooking for friends, gathering around the table with wine and music and letting the hours roll by.

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And quiet:

“It just took some people a little longer than others to realize how few words they needed to get by, how much of life they could negotiate in silence.” ― Tom Perrotta

At the end of the day, the most important thing is to have a moment of quiet to reflect and bless the events of the day.  Each day brought with it something to be thankful about and something to tuck away for cold winter days.

At week’s end I’m always happy to get home, it’s not much different on Stowe Lane than being away, many of the rituals and things that require no explanation are the same. The ride home is always easy, our bed is far more comfortable and welcomed and our memories vivid. Only thing missing is the beach and the smell of salt air and cedar.