Almost every obituary starts with something like:<\/p>\n
Velda L. (nee James) Seege, age 86, of North Tonawanda NY, passed away on Thursday, July 19th<\/sup>, 2012 following a brief illness.\u00a0 Mrs. Seege was born on March 26th<\/sup>, 1926 in Plainview Arkansas, daughter of the late Seth and Katie James.\u00a0 Worked at\u2026.Survived by\u2026.Arrangements\u2026.the facts.<\/p>\n Then there is a flurry of activity, there are children and grandchildren and great grandchildren to be consoled, there are cars to be driven from places hours away, flights to be booked, who\u2019s picking up whom and where will they all stay. \u00a0\u00a0Then there is a gathering of relations and ceremony and farewells.<\/p>\n For me there is much to be told after all of this, I\u2019m not done.\u00a0 I\u2019ve known Velda Seege, usually and proudly referred to as Gramma Velda, for thirty five years.\u00a0\u00a0 She\u2019s not my grandmother, but the mother of my dear friend and summer sister Kyle.\u00a0 She is that person that I see almost every time I find myself in Buffalo, that person that has always welcomed me with a knowing smile, a very distinct and powerful laugh a willing ear and God knows she\u2019s heard some of the best and worst of my life.\u00a0 And a glass of white zinfandel, I moved on from the white zinfandel, she did not\u2026.a signature drink is a signature drink no matter.\u00a0\u00a0 These are the things I knew about her, these are my precious moments with her.<\/p>\n In the past few days I\u2019ve learned about her independent nature (wait I knew that) her courage, her talents, and the wonderful role model she was to her three daughters.\u00a0 Not an apron and pearls kind of role model but a real life, here\u2019s what you need to know, kind of role model.\u00a0 I learned this mostly through the eulogies written and delivered by her daughters.<\/p>\n They say that parents are completely different people after each child is born and that each child\u2019s experience is different in the family.\u00a0 Nowhere could that have been more apparent than in the presentations done by these three women. \u00a0Kim, the oldest, spoke of Velda\u2019s growing up in 1930\u2019s Arkansas, her antics, the framework of her steadfastness, the talents she developed.\u00a0 Kristen, the youngest, spoke mostly of her life after her husband passed away.\u00a0 How she came to share her home, how she insisted on putting in the pool (ulterior motive keeping the kids and grandkids close) her work ethic and the friends she made over and over again.<\/p>\n Kyle told the story through her father\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 Of course she would, she is a fellow father\u2019s daughter.\u00a0 When he died so suddenly back in 1988 there was no formal eulogy done by the grieving, then much younger, women. As I recall that was left to others. \u00a0\u00a0Kyle spoke so eloquently of him and Velda dancing together so beautifully that everyone on the dance floor would stop to watch.\u00a0 She spoke of her getting to know her mother so much better after her father had gone, the things they shared and the rock that Velda became to her. Only a father\u2019s daughter could portray the joy that would be their first dance after 25 years albeit in heaven.<\/p>\n Kyle comforted me with her words and I her with the many hugs that we exchanged over the past few days.\u00a0 Father\u2019s daughters sometimes struggle after they are gone with the relationships they are left to build with their mothers.\u00a0 There is never any doubt of their love and respect but how exactly do they evolve the mother\/daughter relationship going forward.\u00a0 Kyle is a role model to me in so many ways, I always say she is the smartest woman I know and her words of love for both her father and mother gave me direction once again.<\/p>\n And so we said goodbye to Velda, we spoke of our many interactions with her and the things we loved most about her. \u00a0We moved on to the repast to share even more about her and celebrate her life with a toast.\u00a0 Yes there was white zinfandel and I almost had a glass\u2026but no. She will be remembered fondly by many for a very long time and I\u2019m begging someone to please send me the recipe for her pepper jelly.<\/p>\n So clever is my friend Kyle that she managed to have a respite table at the repast.\u00a0 All the women seated at this table were of the book club, vacation taking, worked with, former something or other, wine drinking variety.\u00a0 We all knew each other but many of us had never met.\u00a0 There was the; oh you\u2019re Alana, oh you\u2019re the women who went to Italy, yes I\u2019m that Sandi.\u00a0 We were delighted to sit with Reed\u2019s mother and sister and enjoyed their company.\u00a0 Our table would be the one to turn sorrow to celebration\u2026.have a seat Kyle we\u2019ve been waiting for you to make your way over.\u00a0\u00a0 All the love you need is right here where you left it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Almost every obituary starts with something like: Velda L. (nee James) Seege, age 86, of North Tonawanda NY, passed away on Thursday, July 19th, 2012 following a brief illness.\u00a0 Mrs. Seege was born on March 26th, 1926 in Plainview Arkansas, … Continue reading