{"id":2437,"date":"2015-06-14T17:39:14","date_gmt":"2015-06-14T21:39:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/?p=2437"},"modified":"2015-06-14T17:39:14","modified_gmt":"2015-06-14T21:39:14","slug":"soul-cleanse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/2015\/06\/14\/soul-cleanse\/","title":{"rendered":"Soul Cleanse"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"journal<\/a><\/p>\n

Many people suffer at different times of the year, most common is around the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.\u00a0 I won\u2019t say I suffer, but I become nostalgic, and mournful, and something\u2026between Memorial Day and Father\u2019s Day.\u00a0 It may seem an odd time but it is steeped in loss, and remorse and second guessing.\u00a0 It\u2019s also filled with hope but it takes a minute to get there.\u00a0 It usually culminates in a long discussion with my Father on Father\u2019s day on the way to the Cape but this year is different, I won\u2019t be taking that ride until a few weeks after Father\u2019s Day.<\/p>\n

Instead I will spend some time with my dearest friend and niece Carly doing a 5k color run.\u00a0 Don\u2019t get excited, I\u2019ll be walking but still\u2026 I\u2019ll be among people and laughter and joy instead of having the same discussion I\u2019ve been having for the last decade. There is a time to hold on and there is a time to let go.<\/p>\n

\"images8P2UR9ZG\"<\/a><\/p>\n

As if to set in stone this is a time to let go, I happened to attend a funeral mass yesterday for a business associate\u2019s father.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know the man but I\u2019ve known his son for fifteen years.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure why I decided to go but it was enlightening and emotional and bought me clarity on so many levels. \u00a0Normally I am steadfast emotionally at these things but I was tearful at the love shown, the grandchildren left behind, the music, the ritual of the mass, and the regret that my father\u2019s passing was so very different. \u00a0It became more and more apparent that his legacy was left exclusively in our hands and what an enormous responsibility we had taken on. The fact is his legacy is ours to treasure we are not responsible for it, we didn\u2019t create it.\u00a0 It is only up to us to tell his truth.<\/p>\n

There is no greater energy than the energy you find within a church or temple or any spiritual place of devotion.\u00a0 It blankets you whether you are of the sect or not.\u00a0 I love the feeling but I\u2019ve let go of the need to participate as part of the flock.\u00a0 So many questions whirl around me are answered by my knowing that \u201cGod ain\u2019t mad at me\u201d.\u00a0 As Lincoln said, \u201cWhen I do good I feel good, when I do bad I feel bad. That is my religion.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been journaling my thoughts and revelations over the past two weeks and more and more I\u2019m drawn to the words of one of my Lime Sisters, \u201cMy grip is loosening.\u201d\u00a0 Thank you A\u2019Driane Nieves<\/u><\/a> for the generosity of your truth and your talent, you can\u2019t begin to know the legacy you are creating.\u00a0 I am grateful for your friendship and sisterhood albeit from afar. \u00a0I miss my Lime Sisters and their unbridled energy.\u00a0 I need a tribe\u2026<\/p>\n

\"my<\/a><\/p>\n

My journaling has brought many revelations about introverts vs extroverts, fear, loneliness and motivation. How to begin, when to know if it\u2019s smarter to keep on going or walk away.\u00a0 What brings joy and what the hell is my purpose.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve come to realize that my purpose comes at a cost.\u00a0 When you are a go to person and people get what they need they go away. They go away whole and better and joyful and grateful but they do go away.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve also come to realize that my concentration should always be on the ones who stay and become family.\u00a0 Concentrate on the ones who come back and share their wholeness and a bit of themselves with me on a higher level of equilibrium.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m grateful for those wonderful people who let me vent, or rant, or withdraw but don\u2019t freak out as if the world was going to end.\u00a0 I\u2019m even more grateful for the people who reciprocate what they have gotten without missing a beat. The dear Aunt M\u2019s continue to support and enrich my life.<\/p>\n

And so my soul cleanse these past few weeks has been difficult and rewarding.\u00a0 It has been emotional and joyful.\u00a0 It has cemented my story the way I want it told.\u00a0 My six word memoir, a woman of substance who shared, still rings true to me.\u00a0 I am looking forward to letting go that which is no longer mine and embracing that which belongs to me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Many people suffer at different times of the year, most common is around the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.\u00a0 I won\u2019t say I suffer, but I become nostalgic, and mournful, and something\u2026between Memorial Day and Father\u2019s Day.\u00a0 It may seem an … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5,6],"tags":[548,406,616],"class_list":["post-2437","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-in-the-company-of-women-2","category-pause-points","tag-legacyinthemaking","tag-let-it-go","tag-soul-cleanse"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p27hQ5-Dj","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2437","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2437"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2437\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2438,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2437\/revisions\/2438"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2437"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2437"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2437"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}