![\"Lunch](\"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Lunch-with-the-Baldwins-1.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nIt’s been an interesting week, one filled with quotes and quips about arguing of all things.\u00a0 I’m no longer an arguer;\u00a0I actually think\u00a0I may have learned a thing or two about\u00a0NOT<\/strong> arguing.\u00a0 As tempted as I may be to insert my wisdom, you know the kind that comes from having screwed up so many times and made so many mistakes you can call yourself wise just by virtue of having tipped the experience scale in the not much left to screw up category, I’m trying not to.<\/p>\n For a while now I’ve been using the word, O-K<\/strong> said in the most upbeat bordering on sing songy way to get out of an argument but this week I noticed:<\/p>\n Come on, this is brilliant.\u00a0 Of course you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to you can actually NOT TAKE THE BAIT.\u00a0 It\u2019s true.\u00a0 Even if it\u2019s your hot button issue you can choose not to argue.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve given up arguing with both children, cats\u00a0and dogs.\u00a0 I pretty much treat them the same way, catch them doing something good, don\u2019t reward bad behavior and be the pack leader.\u00a0 Toto and I have been figuring out life without Lina and I will say something like, come on Toti let\u2019s go.\u00a0 Nothing.\u00a0 She doesn\u2019t move, she gives me the raised eyebrows, which are adorable and incredibly tempting to fall for, but doesn\u2019t move.\u00a0 O-K<\/strong> and I walk away, to the kitchen, get the leash and wait.\u00a0 Well look who it is; ready to go for a walk. Yep, sitting right in front of me waiting for the signal.\u00a0 Just sayin.<\/p>\n Several weeks ago my mother asked if I would pick her up a bottle of Amaretto.\u00a0 O-K<\/strong> not a problem.\u00a0 I brought it to her one Sunday when we all got together for breakfast; you see where this is going\u2026 We had coffee and breakfast and up she went to get a particular cordial glass and poured herself a glass of Amaretto.\u00a0 My sister and I looked at each other and thought the same thing.\u00a0 We\u2019re not going to argue the merits of this, at 84 years old you can do whatever the hell you want.\u00a0 I plan on it myself. By the way, the bottle and the glass remain on the table.<\/p>\n I have a friend who gets so frustrated by not getting the assistance around the house she craves from her family.\u00a0 We have the same discussion every single time; it\u2019s no longer an argument because it\u2019s crossed over into something else.\u00a0 The definition of insanity and we laugh about it now.\u00a0 The discussion goes something like; there are over three hundred ways to do the dishes why does it have to be your way?\u00a0 They are helping, who the hell cares if they stack them different, they\u2019re not breaking them and they are clean. Just sayin you either let them do it their way or shut the hell up, no?<\/p>\n I was there, I did that, I have a system (for almost everything) so when I\u2019m in the zone no one will ask if they can help but I don\u2019t want them to ask.\u00a0 I don\u2019t lament that they don\u2019t ask because I know I\u2019m a pain in the ass.\u00a0 I\u2019ve learned not to argue with reality.<\/p>\n Last but not least if I want someone\u2019s opinion I will definitely ask for it.\u00a0 I will ask my most trusted, the people who care for me and know me better than anyone else.\u00a0 I will not trust my vulnerability to just anyone.\u00a0 It keeps me out of arguments with others, and myself because I can chat it up in my head pretty good, based on your \u201cshoulds\u201d.\u00a0 Yeah, no thanks.\u00a0 So if you\u2019re offering and I\u2019m respectfully declining, you should take the hint.\u00a0 O-K.\u00a0 I tend to agree with Keshia Knight Pulliam when she says, \u201cI\u2019d rather laugh \u2013 not fuss and fight\u2026you just need to say, \u201cyou\u2019re real cool but you\u2019re not for me\u201d<\/p>\n Perfect.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It’s been an interesting week, one filled with quotes and quips about arguing of all things.\u00a0 I’m no longer an arguer;\u00a0I actually think\u00a0I may have learned a thing or two about\u00a0NOT arguing.\u00a0 As tempted as I may be to … Continue reading <\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n
![\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It’s been an interesting week, one filled with quotes and quips about arguing of all things.\u00a0 I’m no longer an arguer;\u00a0I actually think\u00a0I may have learned a thing or two about\u00a0NOT arguing.\u00a0 As tempted as I may be to … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6],"tags":[548,568,567,569,439],"class_list":["post-2242","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pause-points","tag-legacyinthemaking","tag-arguing-not-for-me","tag-dont-waste-your-breath","tag-elder-wisdom","tag-exhale"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p27hQ5-Aa","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2242","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2242"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2242\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2244,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2242\/revisions\/2244"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2242"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2242"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2242"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}](\"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/1601327_919463904754001_615059616384002202_n.jpg\"){kind=link}