{"id":1272,"date":"2013-01-27T18:48:11","date_gmt":"2013-01-27T23:48:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/?p=1272"},"modified":"2013-01-27T18:48:11","modified_gmt":"2013-01-27T23:48:11","slug":"how-would-you-know","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/2013\/01\/27\/how-would-you-know\/","title":{"rendered":"How would you know?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"aunts<\/a><\/p>\n

How would you know?\u00a0 You\u2019re not a mother.\u00a0 Ok get ready for the Aunt Rant<\/b>.<\/p>\n

No I\u2019m not a mother but I am an Aunt, both biological (I think, does divorce change that?) and honorary.\u00a0 To kids that are, well, kids and to former kids that I still can\u2019t believe are\u00a0grown and to young adults I\u2019m just getting to know. \u00a0I believe I am a favorite Aunt to some, a cool Aunt to others and even a surrogate Mom to some others.<\/p>\n

I do pro bono work on your behalf.\u00a0 I say the things you wish you could say and I hear the things you may never hear.\u00a0 Got that Mom?\u00a0 I am a safe place, I don\u2019t judge, I don\u2019t sugar coat and yes I\u2019ve been told I can slap (figuratively speaking) your kids (and pretty much everybody else) so hard they think they got a kiss\u2026.it\u2019s a gift.<\/p>\n

If someone needs a ride and Mother Dearest isn\u2019t home, I\u2019m their girl and yes they will probably call me before they call you.\u00a0 If they charge out the door without their coat I am NOT going to send them back in the way you would.\u00a0 They will get the lesson better if they shiver until they reach their destination where it\u2019s once again warm inside, you remember I have heat in the car right?\u00a0 If they want to pout and stamp their feet before we proceed with a group activity they will be left out.\u00a0 That\u2019s called\u2026wait for it\u2026consequence. \u00a0\u00a0If they sneak up behind and want to join in, I\u2019ll hug them into the fold, lesson learned.<\/p>\n

I will spoil them on the birthdays, and Christmas and Hanukah and there\u2019s nothing you can do about it.\u00a0 I will create days that will long be remembered. They will be allowed to drink coffee with me. Don\u2019t worry I know how to order decaf.<\/p>\n

I will leave my door open and they will know that they can walk in whether I\u2019m there or not.\u00a0 Can\u2019t tell you how many times I\u2019ve found kids in my living room. I will listen to their most haunting secrets.\u00a0 Haven\u2019t heard one yet that would end the world and I will NOT condescend. \u00a0I don\u2019t nag, I never have said nor will say I told you so, I use questions not preaching.\u00a0 I value their opinion, and validate their feelings.\u00a0 I\u2019m someone who could whisper in your ear that you might want to keep an eye on this or that without ever betraying a confidence.\u00a0\u00a0I put them in charge of their circumstances in such a way that they feel safe and secure in taking small risks that will not ever hurt them.\u00a0 They can learn resourcefulness from me.<\/p>\n

I will light up when I see them.\u00a0 For all those people who tell me they were afraid of me when they first met me not once has a \u201cniece or nephew\u201d ever said that.\u00a0 They can recognize the depth of feeling and the love I have for them immediately.<\/p>\n

So the next time you hear yourself say\u2026\u201dyou\u2019re not a mother\u201d understand you may be talking to someone who could turn out to be your advocate. \u00a0Listen Mom, Aunts have your back, they will not let anything happen to your children.\u00a0 And\u00a0I know like I know that you may be spared a good deal of the dirty stuff and very hard conversations if you embrace their role as an Aunt.<\/p>\n

Done ranting….for now.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How would you know?\u00a0 You\u2019re not a mother.\u00a0 Ok get ready for the Aunt Rant. No I\u2019m not a mother but I am an Aunt, both biological (I think, does divorce change that?) and honorary.\u00a0 To kids that are, well, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1272","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-in-the-company-of-women-2","category-pause-points"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p27hQ5-kw","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1272","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1272"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1272\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1279,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1272\/revisions\/1279"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1272"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1272"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ordinarylegacy.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1272"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}