There have been several articles on the subject of dining alone lately and I couldn’t help but think, what’s the big deal? I’ve been dining out alone for years, decades maybe, and I’ve enjoyed it immensely. Perhaps it’s not for everyone but practice can bring you closer to others and out of your room, or apartment, or office and into the enjoyable experience I’ve come to know.
You can begin on a small scale by being one among others. Sociologist Ray Oldenburg named this the “third place” where one goes by choice to be alone among others. It’s what you can do easily at Starbucks or Panera. Many restaurants have recognized the advantage of communal dining, bench seating, and family style service. They are beefing up their bar areas to make it more enticing for solo diners and alleviating the angst over a single eating at a table for two. Street food served in the vicinity of picnic tables and benches are a good way to ease into dining alone also.
Making a reservation whenever dining out is usually a good idea. Open Table, online restaurant reservationists, are reporting tables for one have gone up 62 percent over the past two years. Caroline Potter, Open Table spokesperson, states “Solo dining is about treating yourself to a delicious experience and savoring every bite. From communal and counter seating to doting table service, restaurants are welcoming parties of one with open arms.”
If you can’t make a reservation, take a seat at the ultimate counter seating, the bar. Ripe for conversation with the bartender and other transient guests waiting for their tables the bar is at once inclusive and private. The food is delivered more quickly at the bar in my experience and if you’re in a new town the best local info comes from behind the bar, always.
When you arrive, connect with your host, when you are seated connect with your server. DO NOT dive right into your devices. Don’t make your server interrupt you. I get that technology makes you feel less awkward and more comfortable but have a conversation with your server, they are there to make your experience memorable. Find out their name and use it same as you would meeting anyone for the first time. Ask them about the signature dish, what’s their favorite thing on the menu.
Order something new, different, and original to the area. Enjoy your food, act as if you’re a restaurant critic. Savor each bite. If you dine alone in different areas make at least one meal a “best of” meal. I try to have a cheeseburger prepared in the style of every city I visit. Houston is winning so far…it’s beef country after all. When I’m on the Cape I try the lobster roll every chance I get, Wild Goose Tavern has my vote hands down.
If you’re going to drag out a device, take an image of what you’re enjoying and share on social media. Let your server know that you’re sharing your good experience. On the other hand, if you’re not satisfied with your meal let the management know, they want to know from you and they want to make it right, Yelp doesn’t give them that opportunity.
Another way to avoid your devices and engage is to people watch. People watching on your own can be amusing, heartwarming, nostalgic, and very entertaining. And then there’s eavesdropping. I know, but sometimes it can’t be helped and it can be downright hysterical. Try your best NOT to laugh out loud like I did recently, it actually turned out fine and I made a couple of new acquaintances. They actually knew they were “those people”.
At the close of your meal, thank your server BY NAME. I had a wonderful meal on the Cape recently and Raluka made all the difference. I was happy to tell her so and she couldn’t thank me enough for actually remembering and calling her by name. That is a legacy moment.
There is nothing that brings me more happiness than enjoying a meal with friends I love but I’ve come to love dining alone nearly as much. I’ve met some interesting people and enjoyed some delicious meals that never would have been available from room service in my hotel room. The best conversation starter is the audible swoon over something incredibly delicious.
Venture out on your own, enjoy your surroundings, and experience all the exceptional food that’s out there. These are the moments in time that you’ll remember as the best of your vacation, business week or just plain Tuesday night.
