4 O’clock In The Morning

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Some people (aka my mother and that entire generation) say no good can come from anything that happens at 4am. Once upon a time I believed that too. It was the exact time when exhausted me was disturbed by a certain someone’s self-induced insomnia coming to a crashing end. Nightly.

I’m starting to believe that 4am has become my witching hour. By definition a witching hour is a time deep into the evening, usually midnight, when anything might happen. A period of relative calm, during which a person or people undergo a significant mood change. The witching hour is NOT a time of violence, it is the calm that precedes a storm. Is writing a storm?

I’ve had a full writing schedule for the last few weeks and some of my best inspiration is coming at 4am. So what to do? Go with it, I’ve created a 4am survival kit and I get to work because I know damn well that if I don’t write it down it will be gone in the morning. I’m listening to my mind instead of trying to shut it off, making notes and researching and playing with new concepts and surprising myself by letting my mile-a-minute mind run wild.

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4 O’clock in the morning has become an interesting phenomenon for one man whose cockamamie TED talk, before TED talks were popular, created a crowd sourced sensation that is at once crazy and touching. You’ll love the Museum of 4 in the Morning. Want to take a stab at when I discovered this….yep doing research at 4 o’clock in the morning.

The problem becomes what to do when all this inspiration is duly noted and my mind is quiet. How to get back to sleep? For those of you with active minds and trouble getting back to sleep try these steps that I’ve found helpful:

Do a body scan, are you too hot, too cold, do you have to pee, are you thirsty, does something hurt? If any of these pesky things are effecting you take care of them! Put a sweater on, take something off, just get up and go to the bathroom for crying out loud, you know you’re not comfortable. Have a glass of water, take an aspirin…

Back in bed find a comfortable position and tell yourself not to worry about going back to sleep, just rest your body. Let each part of your body relax and try box breathing. Inhale for 5, hold for 5, exhale for 5, hold for 5…repeat. Once you give yourself permission to just rest the pressure is off and you’ll be asleep in no time.

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Toti Nonna has no idea what’s been going on, she’s slept through the entire thing lights on and all. Thankfully she’s the only one I have to worry about disturbing. One caveat, make sure your alarm is set before you do fall back asleep…I know like I know you’ll blow right by your normal wake time if you don’t.   Sweet dreams.

Grateful Nomination

Blogger Recognition Award 2015

Thank you Maria Baird of Manifesting Me and the Small Changes for Life Project for your nomination.  I am grateful you found me (through that terrific cousin of yours) and have been a supporter in the very short time we’ve know each other.  I love your work, you are indeed a legacy in the making.

The Rules:

Select 15 other blogs you want to give the award to. You cannot nominate yourself or the person who has nominated you
Give a brief story of how your blog got started
Give a piece or two of advice to new bloggers
Thank whoever nominated you, and provide a link to their blog
List those you’ve nominated in the post and comment on their blogs to let them know you’ve nominated them.

My blog started after creating a new life after divorce.  Sounds like so many other’s reasons but I was on a mission to build a legacy and show others that even ordinary people could leave behind extraordinary legacies.

My advice for new bloggers is to know like you know that you are sharing your truth, even if you’re scared to death.  The truth resonates like nothing else.

The not so ordinary list of people I keep up with and would love recognized:

Intoxikate-Living Life Deliciously

Daily Presents

Snap Maven

Chris Guillebeau

Green Mountain at Fox Run

Namaste House Wifery

Elke Trick Photography

Catherine Violet Hubbard Animal Sanctuary

Mad Hungry

Local Kitchen

124 Park

Jeff Goins

The Strangers Project

Drew Dudley

Becoming Minimalist

 

 

 

 

Art

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I do not believe in bare walls. In my theory of everyone should surround themselves with only things they love, I believe art plays an enormous role. This was an art weekend. Art is a broad term, described by Richard Wollheim as “one of the most elusive of the traditional problems of human culture”. Yes, that broad.

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Art is a human activity that brings to it imagination, technical ability, creativity, performance, or interaction. The shape or quality of one’s art form, will ultimately fall within a particular genre, and one’s style will emerge by using a distinctive method. It is an act of courage like no other to create art and put it out for the world to judge. This is truly legacy in the making.

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People are quick to place value judgments based on emotion, art is either understood or misunderstood. Art expresses something as lofty as the human condition, as fleeting as an emotion or as simple as a smile. I’ve come across many a piece I didn’t understand and I’ve listened to many a curator speak in terms I thought were ridiculous but because I didn’t get it doesn’t mean someone else won’t find it incredible.

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The purpose of art seems to be two fold; non-motivated and motivated. Non-motivated leans to the basic human instinct for harmony, balance and rhythm. One experiences the mysterious, can’t help but express their imagination and funnels themselves through symbolism. For those who practice a motivated style of art they are simply communicating, entertaining, or healing. This simplistic boiled down explanation of the purpose of art would surely be disputed by anyone/everyone in the “art world” but if you think about each of these expansive words you see how one could go on and on…so too the purpose of art.

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I have been the recipient of some incredibly beautiful art. The generosity of that gift still fills me with gratitude and the art still takes my breath away. I hope to be that generous to those nearest to me one day. There is a small collection being built as we speak.

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There is so much to see, so many people creating, so many different genres and ways to experience art. There is always an instant connection to art, it can leave you scratching your head, disgust you or take your breath away. Whichever reaction you have I encourage you to continue to observe, question, experience, and surround yourself with the art of whatever genre takes your breath away. No reason for bare walls when you could surround yourself with the inspiration of another human being.

 

 

Queen Toti Nonna

_DSC5525005If ever a year of firsts were to go down in history this would be the year. When you lose someone and every first thereafter is life affirming, instead of devastating, you know that the greater good is in play. You begin to understand those left behind rather than those who’ve gone ahead. Don’t get me wrong #lifewithoutlina has its heart wrenching moments but watching her sister come into her own is uplifting.

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Toti on vacation was eye opening. Combine new places, new experiences, play dates and selfies and you’ve got time well spent on the Cape with a dear little dog that left behind the life she spent hovering and protecting her sister. Her entire life was all about Lina but now, now she is having a ball. And she has become the belle of the ball.

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Toti Nonna and her Gramma have developed quite the love affair since I first snuck her into senior housing. During Gramma’s recent rehab stay, she and Toti became even closer. In fact, Toti took herself into several rooms along the way to Gramma’s to say hello. Do I see therapy dog training in her future? They both light up when they’re together especially if there are belly rubs involved.

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Each year Lina and Toto and I have been together we’ve raised money for a wonderful charity, Companion Animal Advocates, that makes an amazing difference in our community. I found them the same year Lina and Toto found me, coincidence? Probably not, just like minded energy at the intersection of we’re the luckiest people/dogs on the face of the earth so let’s do this. In my heart of hearts I thought I wouldn’t be able to hold it together this year without Lina. I couldn’t have been more wrong, Toti wagged her tail from one end of the event to the other, she kissed every dog she met right on the nose, she acted with grace and curiosity and kindness and fun. She was funny. My Toti, the ever vigilant defender of her meek sister, had people laughing at her adorableness and antics. Yes she popped herself right up on the CAA picnic table to say hello as soon as we arrived. The Queen surely knows how to make an entrance.

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There are moments when I feel incredibly guilty for the relief of caring for our special needs girl.   Lina, my love, lived her entire life with anxiety. She was attached to me in a way I found comforting but in retrospect she just couldn’t be… If I got up, she got up, she started at every noise, she would turn us around and take us home if anything spooked her on the walk, she couldn’t relax in the car, she just couldn’t be…and her sister would accommodate and protect and comfort.

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With a relatively short mourning period Toti has moved back into the moment. She loves the car, in fact she thinks each time we walk out the door it’s time to get in the car. And so I’m taking my cue from her, I’m staying in today, loving our walks and our rides and our vacations and our belly rubs and our trips to Gramma’s and our interactions in the neighborhood and on and on. She has taught me that when your job is done you can relax and live a wonderful life, especially if you’ve done your job well. #makingnewmemories

 

 

A Perfect Day for Ice Cream…

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Yesterday was a beautiful cool, crisp, fall day and we headed out for a best-of-summer treat, ice cream.  I know its October but this is legacy worthy and is it ever really not time for ice cream?  My friend Tonine and I had a conversation about Conrad’s Confections in Westwood, NJ that I had completely forgotten about, I’m so grateful she reminded me and treated me to my first (of many to come) Conrad’s ice cream.

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There is so much history in this tiny little shop that I can’t begin to convey it here, but you can read the history of Conrad’s on their website.  What I can convey here is the nostalgia, the nuance, the feeling and hopefully the sentiment.

Conrad’s is located in one of the few bustling downtowns left in Bergen County.  I can’t figure out if they are the lucky ones to be located in Westwood or if Westwood is the luckier to have them located there. Either way you’ve got that hometown feeling before you even walk in the door; when that door does  open and you’re inside modern life simply drops away.

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We sat at the counter that was reminiscent of every soda fountain of the fifties and sixties, I believe at one time there were once nine soda fountains in Westwood alone, but what made the difference to Conrad’s survival and success was the inclusion of confections.  Cases and cases of the most delectable morsels you can imagine line one side of the store.  Every nose under three feet tall has pressed up against those cases at one time or another but that will be another time for this girl.  This visit was for ice cream.

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The choices are limited to the usual favorites with a nod toward some of the more modern flavors like my choice of sea salted caramel with nut mix.  Tonine is a die-hard chocolate chip mint devotee but felt compelled to start with a tiny scoop of the salted caramel on top.

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What’s interesting about the people who came and went in Conrad’s as we were sitting there is that they were brought there by someone who called this place one of their greatest traditions.  Like Tonine brought me, so did someone from a group just next to us.  A young mother brought her two little ones, a toddler and a newborn, to get them started on the path. Mothers and daughters, groups of teens, and older couples gathered for a bit of ice cream and nostalgia.  This is what builds endurance, this is what builds tradition, and this is an ordinary legacy in the making.  Their website seems especially proud that “customers, who have grown up on Conrad’s chocolate and ice cream, now bring their children and grandchildren to take part in the delicious tradition”.

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The staff is young and personable and knowledgeable and I’m sure that after they put your order down in front of you they wait just a split second to see your reaction to your first taste, especially if you are a newbie.  Mmmmmm and your eyes close. The richness is overwhelming, coating every part of your mouth and throat.   The flavors are at once distinct but blend beautifully.  I am completely ruined for any other ice cream.  While micro-batching has become the catch phrase of the artisan movement, Conrad’s has never strayed from this process, never strayed from quality ingredients or time tested methods that prove themselves over and over.

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You can pay by credit card but you will notice that there is no tip line, tips are gladly accepted in cash.

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The experience is perpetuated by Conrad’s current owner, JJ Krachtus who is a product of salt-of-the-earth parents, John and Corinne Krachtus, who believed in hard work and being part of the community.  We had a lovely conversation with JJ, who enjoyed hearing Tonine’s funny and enduring Conrad experiences. JJ was reluctant to be photographed but I inadvertently caught him talking with some of his customers in the mirror’s reflection this, and in production behind the scenes, is where he seems most comfortable.

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I’m so glad I was able to experience Conrad’s’ before they stop making ice cream (after Halloween) for the season.  I’ll look forward to visiting them for some holiday chocolates and eagerly await the start of the ice cream season shortly after Mother’s Day, you can follow their schedule on Facebook.  My plan is to come back in the summer and walk right up to the serving door and get my fix, I hope you will too…and bring someone.

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