Tag Archives: women

International Women’s Day

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 intl womens day 2

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.  ~Arnold Haultain

I’ve done my share of sighing for some of the women around me.  They struggle with things most can’t imagine, yet they go to work each day.  They are giving birth and mourning parents.  They are holding their breath waiting for test results and jumping for joy when results come back negative.  Funny how that word negative can bend in both directions. 

Women are making their way in the world around and about and because of and in spite of any number of circumstances because they are made of something bigger than themselves.  I consider myself a woman of substance and circumstance and I know many like me.  We stand beside one another and tend, feed, nurse, educate, monitor, walk with, cry with, hold each other’s hands and hearts at a moment’s notice. 

There are also women and girls that lack substance not yet having acquired a laundry list of circumstances from which to draw.  How can we show them without preaching, disrespecting or belittling?  How can we keep watch over them yet not interfere in the circumstances that are so essential to growth and wisdom? How can we live our lives successfully so that we become contagious to those around us who will be left to carry on?  What will our/my legacy be to women yet to develop and thrive? 

The fact is I don’t know.  My gift to myself was to set my sights on crawling.  Many have watched me crawl and struggle toward walking, standing just to the side in case.  Then walking, more confidence, less anxiety, more happiness, less profound sadness, more quiet, less chaos.  More me, less everyone else but never abandon my love of others and lose focus on my authenticity.   

My gift to others will be to finally soar.  In the hopes that each one will take from me and my journey what might work for them.  To recognize my circumstances are mine but that they will indeed have theirs too.  To understand that substance comes in time but is based in genuine living and service to others.  All this without losing oneself.   

intl womens day 3

My hope for the women in my life on this International Women’s Day is that their sighs are replaced with exhales and that their circumstances are manageable and that their substance comes fast and easy through a life of authenticity and joy.  That they know they are worthy just the way they are and that their voice is always heard.  These are lofty hopes but I know like I know my women deserve nothing less.  Celebrate yourselves today and all your women will learn from you too.

 

One Billion Rising

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lets one billion rising

ONE IN THREE WOMEN ON THE PLANET WILL BE RAPED OR BEATEN IN HER LIFETIME.*

ONE BILLION WOMEN VIOLATED IS AN ATROCITY

ONE BILLION WOMEN DANCING IS A REVOLUTION

ONE BILLION RISING IS:

A global strike

An invitation to dance

A call to men and women to refuse to participate in the status quo until rape and rape culture ends

An act of solidarity, demonstrating to women the commonality of their struggles and their power in numbers

A refusal to accept violence against women and girls as a given

A new time and a new way of being.*

*Taken from the One Billion Rising website.

With the best of intentions I signed up to rise at the event at Palisades Center, sponsored by The Center for Safety and Change formerly the Rockland Family Shelter.  With the best of intentions I learned the song, familiarized myself with the dance and read what I could about the movement.  Sometimes I did this with tears in my eyes for the women who live in fear every day.  I have known abuse I have never known violence.

The road to hell they say is paved with the best of intentions.

Instead I found myself sitting in an emergency room with my sister and my mother who had fallen during the night.  Thankfully there was nothing broken.  There was, however, a little congestive heart failure (which is not like being a little pregnant apparently) and a urinary tract infection.  Turns out this UTI was a lot more potent than the usual strain and had been causing the elderly to experience atypical symptoms like hallucinating and…wait for it…falling.

Ok hook her up to fluids, antibiotics and oh yes, they are going to admit her.  Hours go by and more hours go by and even more hours go by, to the tune of fourteen hours to be exact until she gets to a room.

All this time I’m watching One Billion Rising unfold all over the world.  Beginning in some of the most dangerous places, women (and men) are dancing to bring awareness to the violence they face every day. In places like India, Jakarta, Indonesia, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Jerusalem, the Sudan, Taiwan, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, Singapore, throughout Europe and South America,  and nearly every state in the Union.  They are all dancing to the same tune, “Break the Chain” written especially for the event by Tena Clark and Tim Heintz with choreography by the amazing Debbie Allen.

http://youtu.be/fL5N8rSy4CU

I am in awe of these women and of the Herculean efforts and the sheer determination of Eve Ensler to pull this off.  But then again why would I be, she has successfully waged war on violence against women in this country through her V-Day events and her Vagina Monologues benefit performances over the past fifteen years.

To say that each of these performances was moving is an understatement. Thankfully the tears brought to my eyes with nearly each performance helped to counteract the severe dry eye from sitting in the ER all day.

My sister finally went home after her 4am to 4pm shift (she gets the calls from Lifeline- God bless her) so she was pretty much shot.  She didn’t even have to change back into her pajamas to go to bed as she had bolted out in them.  Things got very quiet in the ER after she left and my mother and I had a chance to share the One Billion Rising story and some of the events together on my iPad.  We both remember the day we found out our dear Josephine had been shot and killed by her ex-husband back in 1976.  So vivid were the memories that she understood not only the importance of the events but the reason I was drawn to this cause.

One of the more disturbing personal revelations for me is that not many seemed to know about this and no one but Willa responded to my impromptu invitation on Facebook. Thank you Willa, I knew you’d be the one to stand next to me if you could. And of course my sister could have been persuaded, not thrilled about the dancing part but certainly to stand next to me in solidarity. Not many of the nurses in the ER seemed to know about it either. You would think they’ve seen some of the results of violence against women in our own backyard.  Sad that this wasn’t on more women’s radar.  My mother said it best about me, “you’ve always had your nose in something, ever since you we’re a kid” She has a way of putting things…

My ride home that night proved that even though my best of intentions were dashed I doubt I’ll be going to hell. I was with them in spirit and in prayer.  There was so much prayer during the day that when I finally made my way home near to 10pm I wound up going a different way home than I normally would.  Not sure why but it became clear to me as I rode up Route 17 and noticed that someone was trying to get into the north bound lanes going SOUTH.  There is nothing more disturbingly ODD than looking in your rearview mirror and seeing break lights where there should only be headlights.  Had I gone the way I normally do I would have met them head on, literally.

So the moral of the story is that I’m sure the financial support, and oh yeah got the tee shirt, will have to do for now.  I will have the best of intentions again next year and hope that I can truly participate.  I hope you’ll check out some of the videos on YouTube. Especially the ones from India, Sudan and the Congo as it took more than practice for these women to dance, it took incredible courage.

Www.onebillionrising.org