I Know Like I Know 2014

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“That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you’ve understood all your life, but in a new way.”  ― Doris Lessing

It should no longer surprise me how fast a year goes by, it’s the toilet paper roll philosophy of aging…just sayin.  So what has been learned in this nanosecond of a year? So much I hardly know where to begin.

My life revolves around food, shocking I know, as evidenced in some wonderful time spent around the table with dear friends.  The way I can’t operate without mise en place or the farmer’s market or people around my table. That anyone around my table is family and that my family has grown exponentially.

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I’ve learned that there is a scheme of things, that “in here life is beautiful”, that I love meeting old friends for the first time, that providing value is more important than another’s view of success, that a bit of nostalgia is perfect but getting stuck in the past will never do you any good and that the Cape will be there in some form or another going forward.

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I’ve learned how to take a sick day and that you can’t escape an Italian mother’s curse.  Somehow I’ve become that woman downstairs that a five year old had to apologize to after pitching such a bad fit down the stairs that shit fell off my walls. Yeah, this has been an education.

I’ve learned that air texting, idiot drivers and “that guy” haven’t moved off the, “you are really annoying” list, that I suck at 30 day challenges and to give in to the full moon.  I’m a world class putterer and that the art of creative stretchery is within everyone’s reach.  Thank you Houston for welcoming a Yankee with an accent and an itch.

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When Pope Francis recently sought to comfort a distraught boy whose dog had died, the pontiff took the sort of pastoral approach he is famous for — telling the youngster not to worry, that he would one day see his pet in heaven.

“Paradise is open to all of God’s creatures,” Francis said reassuringly.  I’m trusting this wisdom as we begin Lina’s chemo tomorrow in the hopes that we don’t need to be reassured for quite some time. That we will be providing a longer life with good quality is my deepest hope for this year and next.

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“Because I trust in the ever-changing climate of the heart. (At least, today I feel that way.) I think it is necessary to have many experiences for the sake of feeling something; for the sake of being challenged, and for the sake of being expressive, to offer something to someone else, and to learn what we are capable of.” ― Jason Mraz

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I believe after writing this tiny little blog for the last five years that a community has been born.  A wonderful group of ordinary people who believe in legacy, in life lived with a story to be told and a willingness to share bits of themselves. For each of you and for my own lessons learned I am grateful.  I hope that you’ll take the time to go back and read what you might have missed and invite others to join our community.

See you in 2015.

The Scheme of Things

021I’ve heard the phase “in the scheme of things” several times over the last few weeks and began to wonder, is this rationalization or affirmation?  Confucius would have you believe it is a definition:  “It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works.  All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.”

So if you preface what you say with “in the scheme of things” you very well may be talking affirmation.

In the scheme of things I was able to…

In the scheme of things I still managed…

In the scheme of things it all worked out…

In the scheme of things can represent the million things you’ve got to think about each day. It can represent the obligations, the lack of time, the lack of funds, the lack of motivation, the over extension or the doormat you may have become.

In the scheme of things I only…uh oh here comes the rationalization… gained 5 pounds over the holidays.  Or was only able to exercise once this week, Or didn’t get to see my friends, Or overslept once, Or Or Or.

Does anyone realize that you get to decide what your personal scheme of things is?  If you believe that all good things are difficult to achieve you’ll probably set about living up to that.  If you believe that all good things come to you, you just might shift your universe into bringing you only good things.  Ok mostly good things, point is your scheme of things is totally up to you and your life will reflect back to you what you allow.

My personal scheme of things doesn’t include hate.  Hate is a strong word and lends itself to an all or nothing mentality.  Don’t get me wrong I’ve got a few people on the “live and be well” list (You can find the translation for that in the Food for Thought post.)  But overall I rarely use the word hate nor do I give the concept much credence.  I move along from anything that triggers that kind of heavy-duty negative emotion.

It’s easier for me to lean toward love, not the gushy, sentimental, flowers in your hair kind of love but the everybody’s got a story, put yourself in their shoes, deep breath before speaking kind of love.  I’ve been caught in the jump to conclusions outlook one too many times to believe that people aren’t inherently good.  They prove me right many more times than they prove me wrong so I’m going with the love angle.

Still I have my days where in the scheme of things I’m just too tired to get a walk in, or it’s just too cold, or the bagel looks and tastes so damn good with all that cream cheese on it but the other part of the scheme of things is that it’s plural.  If, at the end of the day, the scales are balanced you’re in pretty good shape, if they are slanting in your direction, the direction that defines your scheme of things, then you’re in even better shape.

Confucius may be right, good things may be difficult to achieve and bad things may be easy to get but if you know like you know your own definitions of good and bad and can easily recognize them, if you care enough about yourself to take charge of your personal reflections then your scheme of things will be just fine.  At the very least they will be all yours.