Superpowers

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Usually a Superpower refers to a state that has a dominant position in international relations and is characterized by its unparalleled ability to exert influence or project power on a global scale. Thank you once again Wikipedia. But there is an emerging, at least in my little universe, group of women that are bantering the term about regularly. These women are a decade…eh hem or more…younger than I but I love the way they think.

Andrea Scher, Karen Walrond, Brene Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert: You have superpowers! they say.

Yes, I do. Apparently I’ve been developing and honing them for years. But I’ve never referred to them as such, it would never occur to me to refer to them as such because…who the hell knows why. Here’s how I see it:

Writing. In a straight forward, tell me what you want to say and I’ll help you say it way. Bring me your voice and your thoughts and I’ll translate for you. I can do that.

Listening. Tell me your story, tell me your pain, tell me your troubles, tell me your predicament, God forbid you tell me your joy. People talk to me, not just my people but a lot of people. Total strangers on a line somewhere who are uncomfortable will talk to me. Any one in any situation will gravitate to me and begin a conversation. Kids will talk to me even dogs will talk to me. It’s the face my best friend keeps telling me.

Exhaling. After hearing and translating and offering I have finally learned that my job is not to fix. My job, the reason I’m here, what I can do, is give. And then exhale. Do NOT make the offer, do NOT volunteer, do NOT deprive yet another individual of the satisfaction of bringing themselves into their own. Even if that means falling down, come to find out the getting up is the reward, the character builder, the friend of resourcefulness.   This superpower was hard earned and it’s still in its initial stages but oh it is going to be big big big.

Process. It’s that interesting balance of common sense, pragmatism and foresight that somehow eludes others. Here’s the secret, it’s not a superpower it’s the ability to look one minute, I mean just one minute, beyond what YOU are doing. If you can master that you will see how, wait for it, others are being effected. A smooth process is about flow, knowing where the flow is being crimped makes you a superhero. There you go, please, get started on this one yourself.

Today is Mother’s Day and usually I struggle through this holiday as a Father’s Daughter. My sister and I spend every Sunday morning with our Mother so to gain perspective in this struggle I came to the conclusion that every Sunday is Mother’s Day but today had cards, and hot bakery rolls and my best behavior. The live and let live, let it go already superpower is still a work in progress. I’m hoping once you recognize a superpower it’s much easier to develop.

I know like I know that these women are on to something when they profess that we all have superpowers. But it’s not about bending steel with your bear hands or xray vision.  As Superheroes themselves, they possess that most invaluable superpower of them all; generosity.

 

 

Ordinary Surprises

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Seems counterintuitive to use those words together one being the everyday the other being a wonder or a shock or an amazement? But I found a recent business trip filled with them.  Brene Brown, author of Daring Greatly and TED talk on vulnerability gone viral fame says…we’re all so busy chasing the extraordinary that we forget to stop and be grateful for the ordinary.

Not me, I love the ordinary it’s amazing to me, it presents itself in such a quiet and thoughtful way that you can’t help but be in awe of it.  It surprises me constantly with “of course” moments.  See what you think:

The morning of my trip to Boston I realized I hadn’t received a confirmation from the hotel so I called. Rose on the other end assured me that the rooms I booked for my colleague and I were indeed ready for our arrival and that they had mistakenly misspelled Sandi in my email address as Sandy.

The ride up which, had I listened to the news, was supposed to be nothing but torrential rain, possible tornadoes, and aggravation turned out to be partly sunny and filled with interesting conversation. Arriving a bit early left time for a quick sandwich made by hand by a woman who thought it important to pull a tomato from the stand and slice it fresh.  Of course she did.

The meeting was perfect. More teaching than preaching.  More interesting questions from people who were truly interested in the answers. Some levity, some sharing of information, some friendly good natured scolding all to the end of greater understanding and refinement of the “way it’s always been done processes.”  A couple of hours that seemed like minutes later, not your typical grey suit meeting.  Whew.

Work day done, off to the hotel. Lovely, on the water, near a wonderful part of the city we were greeted warmly, upgraded to King, and began our off time with an exhale.  I was so surprised to find my room number was exactly the same as my address on Stowe Lane.  My beloved Stowe Lane.  When I exclaimed I had great hotel Karma the woman behind the desk went on to fill my heart by saying I seemed a person with great Karma in general.  How wonderful, what a terrific way to set the tone for an evening with friends.  Of course it did.

I love a delightful dinner with friends, the people who nourish your soul while you nourish your hunger.  Conversation that is at once animated and relaxing offering up the chance to learn more about each other while cementing the commonality that brought you together in the first place.  The food was delicious and among friends everyone could pick at the other’s plate.  The wine a perfect pairing, the dessert light yet indulgent.  Saying goodbye afterward was difficult but full of promises to meet again as soon as we could.  One last walk through the square to pay tribute to the tragedy of the marathon and we were on the train back to the hotel.  We got off the train about a mile from the hotel to truly experience the night doings in the North End.  The people, the smells of the food wafting from the restaurants the hub bub, then a night cap and a very nice night’s sleep.flag

Morning in the North End is bustling with a different kind of energy. Workers repairing roads, firemen with their coffee outside the stations, restaurants getting ready for the day, and the bakeries sending the smell of Italian cookies and pastries out into the streets.  But first I need my coffee and where better to enjoy a latte but at a tiny little place that had old Italian men at the bar throwing back single shots of Guglielmo espresso.  Relatively new in the US (the brand of espresso that is) these veterans of the single shot were enjoying it so why wouldn’t we.  Why wouldn’t we indeed, with a very charming Italian behind the bar making us feel at home and pulling shots with the finesse of the former Roman barista that he surely was.  Sitting at one of the few tables, listening to the Italian chatter, enjoying the latte made exactly the way the barista wanted to make it (there is no string of types of milk, foam, no foam, etc. necessary here) with just a hint of sweetness from the sugar and the bitterness from the espresso it would be the only coffee required until I got home.

Naturally we needed to head over to Mike’s for pastry and, unlike the night before, it was empty.  The sfogliatelle wasn’t going to be out of the oven for another 20 minutes so we decided on breakfast first but where to go?  The best part of being in the North End early morning is the time people can devote to conversation, Theo’s was the overwhelming recommendation by the staff at Mike’s.  And of course they were spot on.  Now back at Mike’s, with boxes filled with pastry tucked safely out of reach in the back seat we headed home.

I know like I know that the ordinary surprises we encountered, the upgrade, the room number, the ease of the meeting, the loving preparation of the food and the company in which we dined, the friendliness and resiliency of the people, who just recently had been harmed, all made what could have been just another business trip an extraordinary adventure that left me most grateful.

Thank you Boston.