Category Archives: In the Company of Women

A safe place to share joy and sorrow, laughter and tears, triumph and disappointment.

Lekvaar Bars

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I had the pleasure and privilege of joining my neighbor, Barbara Oreshnick, in her kitchen recently to learn how to make her holiday Lekvaar Bars. Lekvar (which is the most common way to spell the name) is a fruit butter of central and eastern European origin.  It is smooth, creamy, rich and delicious.  It can be made from any number of different kinds of fruits but Barbara prefers Lekvar made from prune.

This recipe, a Russian Polish version,  came from her mother-in-law.  The funny thing about this recipe is that it might never have come into Barbara’s recipe book along with her mother-in-law’s poppy seed cake and nut rolls.  Seems Barbara never wanted to try these delectable bites…then….once she finally tasted them she was hooked.  I can see why and I’m grateful she’s carried on the tradition.

Barbara’s kitchen is nostalgic and warm.  It gives a nod back to a certain period in time when not everything needed to be upgraded to the latest and greatest simply for the sake of upgrading.

The process is much like making any basic dough.

Speaking of nostalgia the site of Barbara’s canisters sent my heart reeling.  For those of you who know me, vintage aluminum is my jam…these were a shower gift to Barbara back in 1954.  Oh how I adore them.

Then on to forming the dough. You’ll notice the jelly roll pan is not greased.

Now for that wonderful Lekvar.

The filling is spread thick and evenly across the dough. Barbara makes the painstaking process of shingling the upper crust of the bars look easy in that “these hands have done this a hundred times” kind of way.

As I watch Barbara I’m reminded of our Italian crostata.  Similar in that it has a bottom layer, a fruit filling but instead of shingling the upper crust we cut strips and make the lattice top.  The first time I tasted these Lekvaar Bars I knew there was a familiarity about them, now I made the connection.  I once had a wonderful crostata recipe that somehow got misplaced so I can see re-purposing this recipe in that direction.  I know Barbara won’t mind.

Into the oven for 30-40 minutes until golden brown.  Like most experienced baker’s Barbara has a system for clean up and my time with her was coming to a close.

Days later, when I came home from a wonderful Christmas Eve celebration I found a bag of goodies hanging from the nob on my front door.  I couldn’t wait to open them up.

They did not disappoint, they were absolutely delicious.  Even more so now that I know their history.  I can’t thank Barbara enough for sharing this heritage recipe with me, and now you.  The thought of these wonderful morsels being lost just breaks my heart.  I hope you’ll give them a try, I know like I know you will enjoy every crumb.

 

Sigh

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It’s no secret that I am a huge fan of, what I’ve dubbed the most extraordinary spiritual rantist, Anne Lamott.  The woman can turn a phrase and set my preconceived notions in motion and more often than not kick them to the curb.  Her many books are all permanently embedded in my Kindle to be called up at a moment’s notice because, well life happens and sometimes you need a more grounded perspective. Ms. Lamott would throw her head back and laugh at that.

Help, Thanks, Wow:  The Three Essential Prayers is one of those go-to tomes (can you call a book a tome if it’s on your IPad?)   “…So prayer is our sometimes real selves trying to communicate with the Real, with Truth, with the Light. It is us reaching out to be heard, hoping to be found by a light and warmth in the world, instead of darkness and cold. Even mushrooms respond to light – I suppose they blink their mushroomy eyes, like the rest of us…”

I have a friend who calls herself an atheist but I swear she prays because her use of the word Wow is reverent.  It’s in response to injustices and fabulously joyous moments alike. When she uses the word Wow it is either preceded or followed by the word, really! Or really??? I know she’s not praying to a God or any type of deity but damn it sounds like prayer.

The definition of prayer is a solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or an object of worship.  However, it is also an earnest hope or wish. Period. No Gods or deities in sight.

So if Help, Thanks and Wow are prayers can a Sigh be a prayer?  If it’s not about who you’re praying to and it’s about the prayer itself, can’t that be so?  I find a sigh is so spontaneous.  It seems to come from a deep place, an exhale with benefits so to speak.  It’s a tiny relief valve, a surrender to what appears to be something that requires much more thought.

I had the pleasure of spending time with one of my nearest and dearest people over this weekend.  She is at once grounded and other worldly.  Her reach is right into my heart and we could talk for hours on any and all subjects. Time spent with her is peaceful, heartfelt and kind. She exudes grace.

“But grace can be the experience of a second wind, when even though what you want is clarity and resolution, what you get is stamina and poignancy and the strength to hang on.” 

This we do for each other. When she left a sigh escaped me.

In the end everyone needs some mechanism to accompany their earnest hope or wish.  In any number of given situations a word or a sound may escape, with or without you knowing it. To me those are indeed prayers.

THANKS have a good week.

Spending the Day

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There are days, no matter how hard you try to avoid them will remind you that life is short.  Those days are usually wrapped up in anniversaries that are so incredibly painful that you drag yourself from bed kicking and screaming only to return to it two or three times.  It takes a few tries to see through the veil of tears to get your face washed and your teeth brushed, make up is not an option.

There are rituals involved and as comforting as they may be sometimes only the ordinary can ease you through.

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Turkey and Swiss on a toasted bagel and a tiny bag of chips.  The smell of toast is nostalgic but comforting in a school-day-breakfast sort of way.

Not running out of gas, animated conversation, good parking karma and an excursion to the hardware store to gather paint chips.

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Buying mums and pumpkins and gourds oh my.  The kids at the petting zoo, you at the petting zoo. The beauty of the day and the time of year.  The crisp air and the warm sun. It’s the “change” time of year with nature giving you permission to let go as it is letting go too.

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spending-the-day003The wave of kids, dozens and dozens of them piling out of school.  The laughing, the yelling, the kinetics, the colors and the music.  All vaguely familiar from long ago.

A fresh cider doughnut and more conversation.

A glass of red and dinner in the merriment of the local pub.  You’re still reminded but the ordinary life around you becomes a salve. An exhale, the day is over and the ordinary has done its job getting you from beginning to end. That and the love of friends, and family and dogs and life.

Sing Every Day

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“He who sings scares away his woes.” ― Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

It’s no secret I like to poke around the community gardens at the senior housing building where my mother lives.  It’s rich in soil, produce and wisdom.  This is Amalia (not sure of the spelling), who I met enjoying the day in the gardens several months ago.

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Can I take your picture? Instead of saying yes she got up and posed near one of the planted areas.  It’s such a reflection of that generation that having one’s picture taken means posing near just the right spot.  I have dozens of them, mostly black and white that look just like this.

Even with our language barrier we had a wonderful conversation about my mother and the lifestyles of the elders living in the building. Her advice to my mother was simple, sing every day.  Singing she said does something healthy to the brain.  She motioned that the energy travels up from your voice to your brain and fills it with something wonderful that travels back down and through your whole body.

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It can’t help but make you happy every day.  Her song was delightful, though I didn’t know a word of it, and I could indeed feel it travel from her voice to my brain and through my whole body.  I smiled all day. Thank you for that good advice, which I passed along to my mother and now to you.

“And all meet in singing, which braids together the different knowings into a wide and subtle music, the music of living. ” ― Alison Croggon,

Sing

Every

Day

Ordinary Legacy Moments – week of July 10, 2016

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Miracles happen every day, change your perception of what a miracle is and you’ll see them all around you…Jon Bon Jovi

I’ve been talking about ordinary legacy moments forever, but this quote helped me put them in a completely different context. These are the moments that just make you smile, you’ll remember them, they will validate something you didn’t even know needed validating and they are all around. Once you change your perception of the ordinary moments in your life you’ll see them all around you.

The animated chat with three total strangers in William Sonoma on the trials and tribulations of women’s clothing. See, last week’s post was spot on but they reminded me there are even more issues: bra straps that don’t stay up, tagless shirts for MEN…old fashioned bra stays, you know those little loops that snap over a bra strap so it stays in place. Before that a lengthy comment from a reader on the blog with even more trials and tribs. Apparently these will just keep on comin…stay tuned.

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Marlon, the cashier in Michael’s that took my phone and zeroed in on a 50% coupon. I thought I already had a fabulous score for Carly’s birthday present but he saved me ten bucks. Yep did the survey, yep spoke damn highly of Marlon. And yes Marlon I will check for them in the parking lot before I come in. Love that kid.

An interesting conversation with himself that proved once and for all we have a very different recollection of how certain things actually went, nough said. Sent my mind into quite a tizzy but in the end I wound up forgiving MYSELF for everything I’ve ever done…ever. Amen to letting shit go already.

A long overdue dinner with friends that never disappoints, you know you’ve been doing this for a while when one of us can order for all the others. When you laugh for hours, when you encourage and cajole and pick up where you left off no matter the amount of time that’s passed. The ordinary legacy moment when we know something the other didn’t…there is still room for a first!

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The power of a good photo, especially if you took it, and it sparks conversation at the camera store where you’re picking up the print. That moment you were looking for to confirm it’s safe to have conversations with professionals and that you might actually have a decent perspective…might…or it might just have been that face of mine that people can’t help but talk to.

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One speaks, one listens. That is the title of one of my favorite water colors done by artist Carol Grigg. The title resonates with me always but especially this week when trying so hard to convince someone that …she is kind, she is smart and she is incredibly important… I won’t stop till she believes is too.

These are all fabulous but the number one ordinary legacy moment of the week was a conversation with a neighbor toward the end of our longer Saturday walk. He was sitting on a bench as we walked by. When I said good morning he stopped us. Didn’t really say all that much but pulled the ear plugs from his phone so Toti and I could hear the music. Yep dancing on Mark Twain Way is now a thing. If you had to get a song stuck in your head all day, this was a damn good choice.

Have a good week, look for the ordinary legacy moments.