Legacy Link

legacy link

What the hell is a legacy link?

Whenever you begin a sentence with “every time I_____________” or “whenever I hear_______________” or “I have a story_____________” or “I was so overwhelmed” chances are you’re connecting to a legacy link. It could be your legacy; it could be someone else’s legacy. Either way a connection to a story that becomes indelible is a legacy link.

Every time I pass another car on the highway, before I move back into the lane I always check the rearview mirror. I don’t rely on the side mirrors I make sure I can see the car I just passed in the rearview mirror. Why? Because Coach Casio said to, and that’s enough for me. When I was in high school several decades ago, it was mandatory to take driver’s ed. At Bergenfield High School that meant getting in the car with Coach Casio, wrestling coach extraordinaire and tough guy. It could be daunting but I got one of the only compliments he ever handed out, you drive like a man…the only thing I want you to remember is to check the rearview mirror before you pull back in the lane after passing someone. Forty years later I still do it, I still remember it, and I think of him every single time.

Whenever I hear the word Machiavellian I will think of one of my former bosses, now dear friend, Rawleigh Tremain. Not because he is or ever was Machiavellian but because that word began my education. I didn’t know what it meant at the time, I was twenty one so give me a bit of a break, and it was spoken by someone I admired. I wanted to know what he knew. When I worked with him he showed the greatest admiration for each of us, regardless of our position in the company. He was motivating and highly educated without airs or degradation of any sort toward anyone. Where he could have acted entitled he encouraged. I credit him with my decision to go to college in my forties. A BA in Social Science and an MSED later I can only begin to know what he knows but I remain ever grateful for his guidance albeit from afar.

I have a story said a friend of mine this week. About a chance meeting that had the making of legacy written all over it. For him a stretch into mindfulness and selflessness, for the other person a life line in a fearful situation. Something as simple as holding a person’s hand when they are afraid will last a lifetime for both of them. Uncharacteristically putting yourself out there and feeling the enormity and emotion of it can’t help become a legacy link.

A series of emails receive from another friend this week went straight to my heart. He’s a remarkable man who’s been up against some overpowering circumstances that could easily have put him under. He understands the meaning of self-exploration and the work required to battle back from those circumstances. I am in awe of his perseverance.

His poignant insights and shared experiences, especially a wonderful story about his son, both reassured and inspired me. He is very much cognizant of living his life the way he wants his story told and giving his son balance, fun, mindfulness and integrity. These words of his moved me and assured me that they are both destined for a wonderful legacy together.

“Whatever else I am, I’m certain I’m a good father. There may have been a few times that I resented the tough times in my life…but those times have brought me to this place, my place in the world…being a good father to my son. “

I am incredibly grateful to all of these wonderful people who have created legacy links in my life, who shared their stories, either inadvertently or directly I am better for it. I can’t begin to tell them, and the many others, the significance they‘ve achieved, not only in my world but in the world.