See Ya When I See Ya

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Never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting…Peter Pan

I don’t remember when I replaced goodbye with see ya when I see ya but it works for me on so many levels. Except of course when I use “you should live and be well” which is just karmic protection from the wrath of saying you’re dead to me which is a huge goodbye. I know, it’s a thing.

See ya when I see ya seems an insurance that we will be together again. It rolls off my tongue automatically usually combined with thanks so much. It’s a kind of a leaving now but already planning the next time we’ll be together prayer.

My Aunt Millie used to say, see you all of a sudden. That was a popular line in my family, I think all the Aunts said it but I remember Aunt Millie saying it the most. Then almost every Saturday she would show up at our house from Astoria with stuff and stuff and food and more stuff it was like Christmas every time she came. I remember her so vividly to this day and try very hard to model much of what I do after what she did. She was funny, opinionated, active into her nineties by dancing and singing, a fantastic cook and may have been the original slap you so hard you think you got a kiss woman. I like to think I take after her. My mother sighs at that sometimes, they had a questionable relationship as do we…

I was reminded of just how much I use this line this past weekend while visiting Buffalo to see my niece Kate in an amazing performance, see my dear Summer Sister Kyle’s new home and spend time with her family. It’s a long ride with a huge payoff, it speaks of ordinary elevated, it feels like home to me whenever I visit. I am grateful to have them in my life, grateful to sit side by side with my Summer Sister chopping vegetables, grating cheese, drinking wine, dancing around the kitchen or enjoying a performance. Her home is beautiful but to me she is what makes it so.

Gather a family together that folds you in after all the years of short visits as if you lived around the corner and you can’t help but want to see them when you see them again. It’s a comfort gift that never gets old even thirty eight years later. They’ve seen it all with charm and generosity, I adore them and love being around them. As you can see here.

2015-03-29 13.29.33-2It was the perfect transition into the last week of March when a decade ago the short visit was reversed to attend my father’s funeral. All manner of things changed after that goodbye, many of them for the better and perhaps that’s when I decided that saying goodbye wasn’t what I ever wanted to do again. Today was a perfect March day, I’m sure tomorrow will be too because the azure blue sky was magnificent then and has been each year for the past decade to remind me that there is beauty in the darkest days if only you look for it.  How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard…Winnie the Pooh.




2015-03-20 17.43.02-2On any given Friday night in homes across this country you can find people eating pizza.  But not like this.  Elevating pizza to the next level and sharing the end of a crazy week on Stowe Lane requires collaboration, the appropriate beverage and removing the smoke detector from the hall ceiling…

My job is making the dough, the rest we leave up to the master with a little “encouragement” from her beloved…

2015-03-20 17.10.36-12015-03-20 17.13.062015-03-20 17.13.15-12015-03-20 17.14.50-12015-03-20 17.17.36-22015-03-20 17.42.45To elevate the ordinary there are just a few requirements fresh ingredients, love and time.  Oh and windows that open are a plus.  What a wonderful way to end the week.

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There Is More Than One Way to Tell a Story


Lime and Lime Again (28)There is a thing you do, Makes you uniquely you, What is it about you?

Your special talent for keeping everyone informed and documenting life?


Your annoying thing like bitching about a lost hour? It’s a true thing I’m not the only one.

The way you do this….DSC_0972

Or that


Or you refuse to do this….074

Someone’s got to hold the pocketbooks.

What’s your signature dish?DSC_3284


Look?DSC_1642 (2)Or phrase…just sayin.

What are the things you let people see and the things you keep to yourself.


Your dark moments that could vanish if only…

The lives you touchDSC_5980 (2)

Who wags their tail for you, was it always so?Grooming Day (11)

What makes you laugh out loud?127

What do you collect?Adorno Spring Fair (7)

What’s your guilty pleasure? Carmel Cone Ice Cream? Butterscotch fudge? Frozen Thin Mints? You detect a trend here?DSC_0561

What’s on your list? Love?  Travel? Lime and Lime Again (20)

All these bits add up to your story even if you think you don’t have one, you do. You just have to add up all the isms and scraps and tidbits and ah ha moments and there it is. You are no accident you are a deliberate life with a story worth telling and a legacy like no other.

Slowly very slowly a trust is beginning to grow. People are sharing their stories. Some of their own, some of the one’s they love. They are recognizing legacy in the ordinary and sharing in this little community. The gift of hearing or reading someone’s story is worth more than anything money can buy; to be granted permission to share it and preserve it in the space of time is humbling. There are wonderful stories coming soon to this tiny place on the Internet. For this, and so much more, I am grateful and jazzed and encouraged. I believe I’ll make that my new word…encouraged.

Stay tuned…

Looking For Spring


2015-03-08 14.19.30-1Only the government would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket, sew it to the bottom, and have a longer blanket… Native American opinion of Daylight Savings Time

It is no surprise to anyone that I’m not good at daylight savings time, I don’t get it, it doesn’t work for me and I make it perfectly clear that I want my hour back. Now, not in the fall. That said I tried to find a way to work with this ridiculous notion, tradition, dictate…I went looking for spring. I found it in several places, my kitchen window sill with its light and reflections. Haven’t seen those in quite some time and I’ve been waiting all winter.

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This winter has been especially harsh and the snow just kept coming and coming covering everything, curbs, benches, grass, high wires and communication towers. I got glimpses of all those long covered ordinary neighborhood sites emerging in the sun and warmth of the day.

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I walked with Toto and Muriel through the neighborhood without the usual four layers, hat, gloves, and anorak coat to shield against the wind. Toto was thrilled not to have to be subjected to the very un-dog-like sweater or rain gear. And when we got back, there it was just the encouragement I needed.

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Then we enjoyed what I call a transition meal, hearty enough for the chill in the air but fresh enough to beckon spring.

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With that I’m done, I’m shot, I’m totally off my usual rhythm and I know like I know that I’ll be asleep sooner than later. Happy Spring.

The Pleasure of Business

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…The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!” Charles Dickens

There comes a certain point in your career that you realize it’s just…for me it’s cars for you it might be banking or retail or something other than what should be most important in your life.  One of the biggest regrets of the dying is the fact that they put business ahead of everything else. They were Ebenezer Scrooged…I won’t ever have that problem. When I travel for business I make sure that I have friends or family in the vicinity, I plan ahead so that I can spend time with them not at a laptop in a hotel room eating room service each night although room service and a hot bath aren’t entirely out of the question.

This week I had the pleasure of traveling to Atlanta on business.  I came in just a bit early so that I could introduce myself to my newest old friend.  I didn’t realize she would be a new old friend but I had a hunch. We lunched over our work not the other way round.  We would be spending the next three days together and they would turn out to be as delightful as she is.


I had originally intended to have dinner with a dear friend of mine who was stuck in with the flu, what a disappointment but a Godsend also.  My nephew was trying to get someone to cover his shift for the Friday we had planned to get together but it just wasn’t coming together, this cancellation saved the day and we had a wonderful three hour dinner and catch up.  Spending time one on one away from the family is so much different and I learned just what a cool guy he is, he taught me much in that three hours and I can’t wait to continue where we left off.  Who knows when, who knows where but I know like I know it will happen.

My Summer Sister Kyle has a myriad of former students that come and go and always remember her fondly.  Some of them are still in her life and some of them are also in my life.  I’ve always loved the way that seasons her legacy and come to find out I have a host of “former students” myself.  There were two meetings happening simultaneously and many of the attendees of the other meeting had worked with me before, it became a reunion of sorts between those “boys”, as I call them, and me.  Listening to the funny stories and hearing the gratitude was so heartwarming and unexpected.  I think the world of each of them and now I realize they feel the same toward me.  I long ago stopped wondering what people think of me, it’s really none of my business, but when you find out in such an uplifting fashion there is truly nothing like it.

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After my meeting I planned to have dinner with one of my oldest friends, we stopped counting the years after thirty, and when we sat down together we just picked up right where we left off.  I am blessed to have many old friends, people who have known and loved me over many many years but some just feel like they’ve lived in your soul your entire life.

The day before flying back home I worked with my new collegue and cemented our friendship once and for all before she made her way back home. Remember that room service and a bath thing…my final night, filled with memories of my time in Atlanta, rested and ready to get back home.  I tend to travel on my own, I like the flexibility and the reflection it allows me.

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I set out early the next morning when no one was around, I had an uneventful flight home, and watched the sun come up over Atlanta.  Thank you Atlanta, I don’t know that I’ll see you again but I appreciated your hospitality.

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As we begin our decent into Newark I can’t help wondering if Toto is talking to me.  It’s been a string of heartbreak, painful Vet visits and hasty departures.  I wouldn’t blame her if she never spoke to me again.  Apparently, she’s a forgiving kinda girl, it’s good to be back on my beloved Stowe Lane with memories of my family, and old friends…even the new one.