A Friend of the Family

DSC_0317What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life – to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories. – George Eliot

One of the legacy links that I talk about all the time is to be that person.  And believe me I understand that you can be that person by being some form of “that guy” too, it isn’t always a positive thing.  Urban Dictionary defines family friend:  A person whom your parents know, from that job they had back in the day, whom they’ve never quite been able to shake off. This person will continually reappear at social gatherings involving other family friends, who all seem to just orbit around the periphery of your parents’ lives for years and years, like a fly buzzing around your head that simply won’t die.

So you’ve probably guessed I’m not talking about that family friend.  I’m talking about a family friend like Jeanette.  You’ve heard me talk about her for the last five years and I will continue to talk about her my whole life, she was that person.  So very much the mentor without ever even knowing it, I know we gravitated toward her like the magnet she was, I hope she knew the affection we had for her.

I’ve been trying to take that on myself, become a character and you can define that in whatever way you know me best.  I’ve been just trying to make my way in the world with the intention of living my life the way I want my story told.  I may never know what people think of me, I’ve convinced myself that what people say about me is none of my business.

But there is sometimes a magical moment when you get to find out what “family friend” means to a family.  When you have the distinct honor of being introduced as “our family friend” and the mere mention of those two words brings their arm around your shoulder.  The exhilaration is intoxicating.  And over whelming.

When I love you is said with such ease, when the care taken in choosing your seat was so important, when the way you are treated has been firmly established before you enter the room, when you enter the room and the people are genuinely excited to see you and were just a bit worried that you had gotten lost they exhaled.

These are the true indications that you are indeed a cherished family friend.  I don’t take this lightly, I am honored and will work tirelessly to insure that I will always have a wonderful story with these incredibly valuable people. Dare I say that I might be their Jeanette?

I attended this long overdue, bless that man who came along to become a husband, happily ever after function on my own, something I’m used to doing, but never once did I feel alone.  I had a lively conversation with the young man and his wife to my left, a heartwarming conversation with the beautiful new mother to my right, I danced with the best man and he might just tell the story of how he learned the hustle from me.

I was in awe of the bride and how simply stunning she was, how her brother walked her down the aisle, standing in for their beloved father who is no longer with us, and how her sister courageously walked down the aisle alone as the maid of honor. She, too, was incredibly beautiful. The mother of the bride was beaming and reassured that all would be right with her family. I was unable to be at the church and in some ways I’m relieved as just the vision of these three siblings supporting each other with such love brings a lump to my throat.  My friend would have been incredibly delighted of this evening.

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

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